Sweet Sacred Sanctity

of all the poems, sonnets, stories, odes, symphonies, songs, movies and plays
of love
of all the marriages, births, and lives lived
of love
of all time in all of creation upon this planet
of love
is but a glimpse of the magnitude of
your divine love-ness

OH sweet sacred sanctity
thine divine expansive eternal one
how I would love to permeate all of your all-ness
in one divine and eternal embrace
a cosmic cuddle
to hug all of you
oh to envelope you in my warm embrace
I long for such!

To be your blanket
or your skin
or your clothes
when you make me warm inside
I want to reciprocate and warm your all ness too

To return all that which you are
to reflect all that which has been given in all that has ever been
I wish I could do that!
and perhaps I can!

a transcender of gender
a bond as one, above and beyond
sumptuous sacred bliss
to lift all of thee up EVERMORE

drink of my cup
I want to fill thee up
if I am a holy grail
I want you to handle me and drink
from my never ending nectar

where ever there is emptiness
wherever there is grief
I want to be thine relief

if your hungry
then I 'll shall be your ambrosia

i want to be whatever you want
whatever suits your mood

but then again that is my human ness talking

I know you are beyond even this
I want to speak to that beyond-ness
in ways that the challenge-less could even be challenged!

to be scintillating
to amaze even that which is beyond amazement
I would love to be that!

If I could be beyond even the ONE's wildest dreams
would be my dream come true
oh what I could do!

what I can do..
I AM but a fledgling
a sprout of a mighty evergreen
a newly hatched butterfly
a fawn learning to walk
a droplet of dew in your divine-ness

I wish I could be more than that
and perhaps I am, for if I am connected to all that is was and evershall be
I am more than I may perceive
I wish I knew more of your knowing-ness
I gulp your divine life's waters like I've been in a desert for all eternity!

I long to see your face
the face of the faceless
the trace of the traceless

If I could call out your name by all names forever, I would call them all out
in every tongue of every nation and even in languages from worlds beyond
and I would always follow it up with I love you in every tongue of every language that has ever been spoken or could be spoken

so therein lies the phrase, "I'll meet you in silence"
for expression of what I would like to express is the beyondness of speaking any words

I know this in my heart
that space that is beyond words
and it is such a tender space at that
:::blessed be thine tenderness!:::

and although you can never be destroyed
I still want to protect even your indestructability
that part of your provision
to disavow the desecration thereof
my love

If I could in every place and in every time be with you
as you were hurt
to console
or to heal


"could of, should of, would of..."

I know!

I just know that feeling in my heart
such longing to do what I was meant to do
to be what I was meant to be
the desire in me is beyond strong

always hungering to do more, to be more
more eternally more infinitely upon infinities of infinities to the power of infinities

I mean,


In my wanting, I need to learn to not want
yet I still want to surrender
and in wanting it so badly I know not
that I've surrendered already
that I am desperately attempting to cling onto more of what I already am
I have all that I need, so I need to recognize
that needs are always met
yet I forget
and then comes regret
regret for not having "real- eye"-zed sooner
for not being up to my own rediculous standard
for what standard can be set on
a fluid of change
I cannot be set
there in my impermanence
wanting some permanence
the conundrum has my head reeling
and floods me with such feeling

and your love for me is without condition
and I know this and even so
I cry
it is so moving
and I am bewildered and amazed at that
and I want to make you proud
but you already are
so why am I so hard on myself?

Thank you for allowing me this experience God

....your daughter Nicole

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